


John Tavares, Man

by MeansToOffend (goodmorning)



Series: 31 in 31: NHL Fairy Tales [13]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2009-2010 NHL Season, Fairy Tale Retellings, Gen, New York Islanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorning/pseuds/MeansToOffend
Summary: “'I’ll battle for the puck as hard as I can; you can’t beat me - I’m John Tavares, man.'”





	John Tavares, Man

Once upon a time there was a hockey team whose GM had a rather appropriate name and whose captain would one day become its coach. They had once been very great indeed, but their fortunes had fallen in the intervening years, until they were so poorly off they could not help but win the draft lottery.

Still, this turned out to be a bright spot, for with the first overall pick, the New York Islanders selected an exceptional player indeed, and his name was John Tavares. And what else could they do but play him? Their team was in dire need.

And, wonder of wonders, John Tavares was good.

Unfortunately he was also cursed with a mildly annoying vocal tic. As long as he scored, though, his teammates did not mind it - and he scored quite a bit. In fact, they were all pretty used to it by the time their first game against the Rangers rolled around.

As he lined up for his first faceoff of the game, it made itself known:

“I’ll battle for the puck as hard as I can; you can’t beat me - I’m John Tavares, man.”

One would think that these were, perhaps, bold words for someone with just eleven games under his belt. But Dubinsky, taken by surprise at the rookie’s brash loudness, did in fact lose the faceoff, and John Tavares took off.

Later in the game, Redden and Roszival hard on his tail, John Tavares once again felt the need to shout, this time over his shoulder:

“I beat Dubinsky, and I can beat you, too! I’m dekeing and dangling as fast as I can; you can’t stop me - I’m John Tavares, man.”

And indeed the skilled young player did manage to make his way around both defensemen with no real trouble, for his skates were fleet and his hands soft, and neither Redden nor Roszival could stop him.

Finally, with five minutes remaining in the game, Sutton sprung John Tavares on a breakaway, and as he barreled toward Lundqvist, the arena could hear him say:

“I beat Dubinsky, Redden, Roszival, and I can beat you too! Track the puck as well as you can; you can’t block me - I’m John Tavares, man.”

And, with that, he buried the puck in the net.

The crowd cheered, for they were sure to win the game, and that had not come easily to their team for a long while. They also cheered for John Tavares, and the future he represented to them with all his skill.

Still, there was to be yet one more incident in which he mouthed off, despite the little time remaining in the game. It happened that the Rangers began to play a little dirty, slashing at his hands, poking at his feet. At last it annoyed John Tavares enough that he stood, planting his skates, and glared at the biggest offenders:

“I beat Dubinsky, Redden, Roszival, Lundqvist, and I can beat you too! Slash at my skates just as hard as you can; you can’t trip me - I’m John Tavares, man.”

Unfortunately for him, they could indeed trip him, and he found himself falling to the ice with a stick tangled in his feet. Fortunately for him, this was blatantly obvious to the referees, who assessed a penalty on the spot.

The Islanders won. And John Tavares smiled, for everything had gone exactly according to plan.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Originally, this was going to be based on Pinocchio, but I couldn't quite figure out how to make it work. Title was "Little Johnny's Voyage Through Italy," after another of the author's works. Instead: Gingerbread Man.  
> \- I butchered the actual details of the game (October 28, 2009), kind of. JT lost his first FO but won his 2nd, against Dubinsky. There's no record of a breakaway happening. His goal was off a Roszival giveaway and not because of a breakaway. JT drew no penalties, and no Rangers were called for tripping. Besides that, any details are real enough.


End file.
